Last week I was part of a panel on Race and Dating, at 107 Projects in Sydney.

I talked about the sociology of attraction and why we need to tackle racial bias at the individual and structural levels. I discussed the research on racial fetishes and how to be more mindful of racial stereotypes in romantic relationships. My co-panellists discussed their personal experiences of racial bias in dating, as well as the ‘Sexual Racism Sux’ campaign for the gay community in Sydney

The crowd asked very thoughtful questions and the conversation continued after the panel.

Here’s a passage by Robin Zheng on sexual fetishisation (specifically, she examines the impact on Asian Americans)

‘With every instance of exclusionary behavior, racially inflected comment or joke, negative or indeed positive professional evaluation, people of colour must decide whether or not to question it, ignore it, analyse it, challenge it, file a complaint, seek others’ opinion and validation, etc.—all of this takes energy and a toll in ways that white people do not experience (at least not on account of their whiteness)…

‘By contrast, blondes and brunettes as such have not suffered histories of exploitation, colonisation, slavery, persecution, and exclusion on the basis of phenotype. Nor does hair or eye colour track categorical differences across all social, economic, and political dimensions of life, including opportunities for health, education, jobs, relationships, legal protections, and more. But race does—in ways that Asian/American women and other people of colour experience on a daily basis. Thus while some doubts about fungibility might be an inescapable part of all sexual and romantic relationships, whether grounded in physical appearance, personality, or other bases of attraction, racial fetish raises additional and uniquely racialised doubts that require emotionally taxing work to set to rest.’